Heart Torn Apart, Blood Smeared Into Art.

i don’t know why i’m here
or why i need to exist
if no one wants to be here
for me.

there’s no point in a life
that has no one to live it
with.

my father should have left
me as a stain upon the
bedsheets; at least then,
i would have died with
brothers in arms.

it would have been the same:
letting the world dry me up
until i became no more than
organic cell matter.

that’s where i am right now.

Could we sit here, love?

Can we let the river’s sound

Wash over us, smoothing

Over our every problem

Like the pebbles in the bed.

you fell in love with me
and that was something easy
but since that day,
i’ve tried to make you
fall in love with you
‘cause that would really please me.

but i can’t get it through
all the beauty found in you
i don’t know what to do
to prove that all my words are true.

i’ve written beauty on the mirror
‘cause nothing could be nearer
to you than your own reflection.
and you look perfect to my recollection.

some things just can’t be denied
like the purity you hold inside.
you’re where beauty thrives
and you’ve been touching lives
i just don’t get why you can’t realize

that when you fell in love with me,
something happened twice as easy
i fell in love with you
‘cause your beauty was all that could appease me.

My flag now flies at

Half-staff for my failure in

Penetrating you.

melting to the imprisoned image
of a damaged mind, ravaged by an
unforgiving time expressed divinely
by a man, not a god, but wrapped
so tightly by the sinews of my
aching body’s core.
so i travel blindly into this
the abyss of my third eye
to see a clearer picture.

is this what you want?
for me to spit words at you
incessantly so that you may
know your selfish fill?
do you want me to try to
lace them together in a way that
lands softly upon you,
like goose down?
or are you asking for something
more striking like the
impact of a shotgun blast.
no, of course not, you want both.

you want me to provide you
with whatever you have commissioned
according to your fickle fancy.
you want me to tend to your
every bloody need.

and of course, you know
that i am all too willing,
because i need you to accept me.
you know that i need your
validation.
so, tell me, what do you want?
how might you validate me today?

I’m making beats right now. Oh yea!

Stone, by nature, is

Cold; but with energy, gains

Heat. I am like stone.

And you are the only source

Of energy that heats me.

i know i could make you love me again

all it would take is for me to die.

it’s so hard to forget that you loved someone then.

today i remembered what it was like
to hold a ball and throw it,
hoping that it would know the
intentions that you had for its path,
finding that not always does the ball
choose to obey those desires,
or perhaps its destiny was not conveyed.

one way or another,
lessons were learned,
memories were sparked,
and skills were honed.

the most important lesson learned:
do not let your balls get grabbed
when they are not supposed to;
you never win in that situation.

In these vicious gales,

Though it makes me feel lighter,

Love keeps me grounded.

words have the purest of intentions
when they are formed in thought
but sometimes lose their integrity
on the tongue on which they’re wrought.