the effect you have
upon my space is
so extraordinarily massive,
that the thought of
what i would do
if you suddenly disappeared,
frightens and perplexes me.

whether becoming a singularity;
or, careening off
recklessly and hopelessly
into space, all i know
is that if you were gone
i’d be forever lost.

i’ll pretend that
this loneliness is
something i enjoy
until someone decides
they want to come
and join me.

and i know that
someone will.
no one is allowed
to have pleasure
all to themselves.

i sometimes wonder
if i am trilingual,
because i speak
to your body as though
it is second nature,
and the conversation
is always fluid
on my tongue.

she put two hooks in my mouth
and hung me from the ceiling,
so i could finally be at
the center of her attention.

and for some reason,
i found myself smiling.

building playgrounds
over the graves of the dead
seems to be an interesting way
of telling the future generations
that it is okay to dance upon the heads
of those who have fallen before them.

or maybe it is an ingenious way
of instilling a simple truth:
once we are beneath the turf,
our lives, our efforts,
our triumphs, and our tribulations
become nothing more than trivial.

our purpose is to make the soil
softer for those who would
walk upon it after us.

i don’t wear chap stick
for my own benefit.
i wear it for the comfort
of your lips on mine,
because that is the comfort
that i am seeking.

i want to be happy today;
but, the fresh pool of blood
seeping into the threads
of my pillow is a reminder
of what this day means to me,
and what i’ve gotten closer to.

no longer can i call you
little bird.
your wings are
fully fledged
and your feathers
have all come in.
so, fly, darling bird.
fly on to happiness.
fly on home.
and though you may
start to tremble,
you needn’t worry.
all it takes
is a little act
of faith.

in my heart,
i know that
the soul
of 1q84
was born to
haruki murakami
this day
twenty-four
years ago.

now that thought
has grown up
to become
one of the most
amazing, beautiful,
and beloved pieces
of art
that has been seen.

and with age,
i know it will
get even better.

i sincerely hope
that i’m the one
you are holding
on the last page
of your fairy tale.