I stood on the sidewalk,
waiting for the light to turn.
I needed traffic to start moving
so I could keep moving on.

I watched the cars waiting,
a herd, ready to stampede
into the bustle of life,
no time for pausing for
unexpected obstacles.

The electric hum of the light
kept me calm while i waited,
waited to advance myself,
waited to move forward,
waited to pass.
I heard the switch crack through the drone,
setting me to motion, a starting pistol.

The cars moved and I tried to;
but, I found myself frozen.
I kept watching the road for more of them,
searching for the right one to take home.
The car never came; or rather,
I never chose one. I had my chances.

I can’t figure out what stopped me:
The learned habit of looking before crossing;
or, the natural instinct of self-preservation.
Whether nature or nurture, I don’t care;
I didn’t want to be a part of either anymore.